If I could express it in words, I probably wouldn't have a reason to paint.
I paint because I feel a strong need to create,
to fill an inner void, to heal myself. I am a
self-taught artist, I love abstract art because
I can create something unique and distinct.
I AM on each canvas.
Thank you for your visit!
Love and hugs
I was born in a small town near Brasov, in Romania, a country that was still under the communist regime, poor, gray and hopeless.
My parents divorced when I was 5 years old and I was raised only by my mother, the male figure of the father was never present, and this will decisively mark both my childhood and the maladaptive adult I was to become.
I can't say exactly what pushed me to create, but I think one of the major factors was, in the first instance, poverty. I had very few toys, so I started making them myself out of cardboard, according to the models I found in a Neckermann magazine (the only connection I had at the time with the western world) I didn't have coloring books, so I drew my own, I didn't have storybooks, so I made up and wrote my own fairy tales. And all this period of my childhood and a good part of adolescence have developed a strong entrepreneurial spirit in me, some kind of self-sufficiency, an ego-syntony which I suffer from even today.
Although I really wanted to do ballet and go to art school, I knew very well that there were high chances that it wouldn't help me put a loaf of bread on the table, so I had to choose the rational path and studied accounting, a profession I still practice today.
In college I studied psychology, but not because I wanted to practice a related profession, but because I really wanted to understand the human mind and its mechanisms, to be able to read specialized books and, in fact, to be able to explore my own behavior and mental processes as well as my deep feelings and thought.
Of course my artistic spirit and my strong need to create lain down for a long time, latent in the subconscious, while I was already working as an accountant, buried in numbers and documents, restraint and parapraxis. But soon I realized that the best way towards my own healing is to let them out. Therefore, I resumed painting and also started to study it, as a self-taught artist, in January 2019. And not infrequently I admitted that, certainly, painting saved me.
In truth can't say that I found my style yet, and not even a favorite technique. In my mind everything seems very eclectic. I love abstract expressionism because it lets you create something unique, distinct, free, unfettered. But at the same time I came to love surrealism because it's a current that explores the subconscious, gives you full freedom of expression, removes the premeditated activities of the spirit in the act of artistic creation.
André Breton best defines this movement, and I fully embrace it: "Psychic automatism in its pure state, by which one proposes to express—verbally, by means of the written word, or in any other manner the actual functioning of thought. Dictated by thought, in the absence of any control exercised by reason, exempt from any aesthetic or moral concern." As I am in every artwork I create, but rather my subconscious. And I don't want this to be interpreted as narcissism, quite the contrary. I have known so many collectors who have empathized with my emotions, who have lived, perhaps, similar experiences, which are found both in my art and captions. And yes, it's difficult for me to describe my works since I'm not a good speaker at all, instead I prefer to let my art speak on my behalf.